Stop lying to yourself

Abandonment comes in many different forms. 
Parents, lovers, friends, family. 
The list of people can go on and on. 

After Chris died I felt abandoned.
People I thought would always be there.
Gone. 
Death changes that.
Loss changes that.
Divorce changes that.
Pain in any form changes that.
Being honest changes that.

Honesty is one of the hardest attributes to have. 
Not only can it be awkward but it can also hurt like hell.
The abandonment I felt, that honesty, it killed me.

I feel it more often than not but I have learned that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the person who has left.

There is nothing wrong with me. 

People will tell lies, and they will twist the truth to make their lies more palatable for themselves. 
Not for the people they have hurt. 
They weave these lies and manipulations into a life, a life that they are comfortable in, without you. 

You can abandon yourself, you can lose sight of who and what you are. I have been there too. I'm not doing that anymore. I've got my grips around who I truly am and what I mean to this world. 

I won't lose sight of that again. 

Life changes in the blink of an eye.
Loss shows you how important it is to let those you love and care for never feel as though they've been abandoned. 
Tell someone how you feel when you feel it. 
Let it out. 

It can kill you thinking you were the problem. 
Don't do that to someone. 
I've seen it happen and he certainly didn't deserve to feel that way. 
I don't care what lies you've told yourself, it'll never be worth it.   
The truth will hurt but at least you will know.
And you can start to build a new life. 
A life that is worth living.