You'll heal over time.

"Time is relative; it's only worth depends 

upon what we do as it is passing."

Alber Einstein

250 days later

I spend a lot of the day thinking about time. After death, the world keeps spinning. Appointments have to be kept, stores open and close, hour upon hour, seconds clicking along and thrusting into minute after minute. I'm frozen. The world I used to exist and function in now looks like an alien kaleidoscope. Don't get me wrong, I'm managing. I just no longer understand the purpose, or can pretend to. 

I'm lost in what I call the in between 

I'm still here, physically present and accounted for but my mind, I'm trying to figure out where it's gone. I haven't lost it (thank you very much) but a doorway has been opened. As I sit and type these words, it seems crazy, crazy that I'm even entertaining thoughts like these. 

But here we are. 

Here I am. 

Where is Christopher?

The doorway that has opened hasn't given me any answers, yet. There is a synchronicity that has been occurring over the past months though. Numbers, words, animals, but mostly numbers. When it starts it is slow but then it's all I see. 

11:11

2:22 

4:44

5:55

10:10 

Blaring silently, notice me. Something is happening and you need to pay attention!!!

I'm paying attention. 

We tend to fear things we don't understand. I'm no longer afraid of many things, so I'm focusing on having an open mind and heart. Allowing myself to be open to the possibilities of what I can't explain, going along with it, unorthodox and proud.