Autumn renewal

I love this time of year. 

The smell of the wind. 

The crunch of the leaves. 

The warmth of a home.

Life around us dying only to be reborn.

But not really, because only the surface dies. 

The roots, the depths of the earth, that remains still.

Quiet. 

Till it is time to bloom again.

Transpire. 

I know this feeling all too well. 

The choice was made for me but I have embraced this.

I had to.

Some people expected me to stay in the darkness. 

To them I say, you never knew me. 

Some will never understand how I can be happy now. 

Again, you never understood my depth. 

I was born into tragedy and I haven't quit yet. 

It's not in me. 

I am built for this life and what it throws my way. 

I choose to love. 

I choose to live in the now. 

I choose to fill my glass and have it overflow so maybe, just maybe, it will run over into someone else's. 

Someone who needs it more than I. 

Someone who is not familiar with the hurt that life can bring. 

This is why I am here. 

Every single day, I make this choice. 

Death found me so I could be reborn. 

So that I would be capable of understanding.

And mending. 

I had to lose the love of my life to find the love of my life.

Me.

This life will never be easy but it will be worth it. 

Every single day. 

Because I am worth it. 

And so are you.